1. You put on all your rainwear, take out your umbrella, and cover your clubs when there is a hint of a light drizzle.
2. You've never even tried to hit on the beer cart girl. It's practically your duty to give it a shot.
3. The only consistent part of your game is getting played through.
4. You have declined a poker night with the boys because you don't want to be "fatigued" for your 7am round.
5. You only play in scrambles because you don't want your buds to know what you really shoot
6. Standing on the tee-box of a 370-yard par 4 and saying... I better wait until the guys on the green get done putting. Hit. The. Ball.
7. You have never found out the hard way that you couldn't carry the water in two on that 575-yard par 5.
8. You have those cutesy little covers over each of your irons. They're IRONS, for cripe's sake!
9. You have spent more than one half of a nanosecond debating what to wear before you play.
10. Your ball cap doesn't have sweat stains or always looks new.
11. If you spend more time looking for golf ball than actually playing.
12. A book-on-tape, hypnotist, motivational speaker or "guru" is required to get you "in the right frame of mind."
13. You tap down spike marks (real or imagined) after a missed putt as if it were their fault you can't putt.
14. You punch-out and play for bogey. If the green's THAT way, aim THAT way.
15. You get an old ball out for water carries. Show some confidence!
16. You always prefer 4 iron vs driver. Very weak.
17. You complain about the architectural design of the $20 muni you just played.
18. You hold it to wait for a bathroom on a perfectly wooded couse.
19. You putt with your golf glove on.
20. You get crushed in skins, but never seem to have any cash to pay up.
21. You talk on your cell phone when it's your turn to hit. C'mon big fella, the deal can wait.
22. You blame bad shots on the slightest noise during your backswing... okay Tour Pro...
23. You have never thrown a club -- not even once.
24. You're consistently late for your tee time. Be late for work, church, your wedding... don't be late for golf.
25. Your hands are sooo soft you need to wear a golf glove on each of them.
26. You actually think your pretty little copper bracelet gives you an edge.
27. You've never tagged the picker at the driving range when he's within 30 yards.
28. You take 5 minutes to sniff your 8-foot putt from 6 different angles and still leave it short.
29. You play winter rules in the middle of July.
30. You always have the mulligan ball ready to go anytime past the first tee box.